Having Difficult Conversations

Having difficult conversations is an unavoidable part of our professional lives.

These difficult conversations can happen with clients, potential clients, colleagues…

For lawyers, they can take place with opposing counsel and the court…

One thing is for sure.

We need tools to navigate these difficult conversations.

One of my coaching clients, a recruiter, hired me to transform her “difficult” client conversations about candidates from overwhelming and anxiety-inducing to professional and peaceful.

In her recruiting role, there was often a disconnect between what her client, the hiring party, wanted to do, and what her professional recruiting opinion was calling for, and she had to be assertive in those discussions without getting upset or alienating the client.

Before we started working together, my client was not confident in approaching these difficult conversations. She dreaded having these conversations, and didn't know how to approach them.

Through the process of coaching with me, she was able to gain confidence and learn skills to take on conversations like that with her clients.

If you struggle asserting yourself in your professional life and want to transform your communications from overwhelming to peaceful and confident, click the link in the comments to apply to coach with me.

Check out my tips below for taking your conversations from overwhelming to peaceful.

Tip for difficult discussions:

Take a Break if it Gets Heated.

Yelling, rude tones, I've seen it all. If the call gets heated, you are within your rights to take a break and reconvene. I call it the client timeout (or opposing counsel). I say, "The tone that this conversation has taken makes me feel uncomfortable. I will reach out to you to reschedule a call when we can have a calm and respectful conversation." Works like a charm - I've even had clients apologize after using this one.

Draw Boundaries. If someone is throwing insults or using abusive language, that's unacceptable. I'll say something like "I don't tolerate insults or this type of language. I expect you to stop using this type of language, or else we will need to end this call."

Listen.

This is my go to tactic for difficult discussions. I listen to what the other person has to say, and paraphrase it back to them to avoid any misunderstandings. If they are taking an argumentative tone, I let them wear themselves out. They can't argue with themselves.